Hey guys, Curls n’ Curves here.
So I celebrated my 24th birthday on December 9th(Shout out to all the Sags) and like I mentioned in a previous post, I’m digging this getting older vibe. Strange enough at this point in life I’ve started to think about the serious aspects of life, the things I can already taste but I’m definitely not ready to digest. Time is a funny thing and after reflecting on my last years which all flew by like a rocket, I’ve decided to put together a list of 24 lessons that I learned in these long 24 years.
1. Sometimes you outgrow people, places and things- LET IT GO!
2.It’s okay to not know your very next step – Adults have played the hell out of us into thinking that we are supposed to have it all figured out before moving forward, every time-all the time. Truth is, they don’t even have it figured out themselves and i’ve learned that that’s perfectly OKAY.
3. Own up to your bullshit – Anybody could come up with a good excuse but there’s much more power in taking full responsibility for your own mistakes. Accept it, put your best foot forward and make your next move your best move.
4. Always look your best – With this I’ll say, dress for the job you want and the respect you wish to receive. Always look your best and give your best, you never know who is watching. This here is one of the best pieces of advice that I’ve gotten from one of my professors in undergrad.
5. Learn how to make yourself happy – As you grow older you realize that your friends won’t spend all of their free time by your side like they use to before. The people closest to you are working towards establishing a stable and happy life for themselves and who knows you may just be that one single friend. Figure out the things that makes you happy and learn how to treat, support and heal yourself when necessary. This has been one of my greatest lessons that has taken time for me to learn, however I’ve now discovered that my solitude is like rehab for me.
6. Your word is everything – I’ve learned the importance of “saying what you mean and meaning what you say”. Sometimes your word is your only bond and people hold on to the things you say, so make it meaningful. Your words hold so much weight!
7. People WILL do you dirty – No matter how sweet and kind of a person you are, people WILL do you dirty and it’s not much you can do to prevent that. It’s general knowledge that some people ain’t shit and that will never change. Just know that their actions are a reflection of them and have absolutely nothing to do with you as a person.
8. Cherish good people – While some people may not be shit, there are still some really really good people in this world. Cherish them- it’s that simple. Never let them forget how much you appreciate them and how much they mean to you.
9. Being alone isn’t the end of the world – I guess I can also throw in that being single isn’t a bad thing either. Actually, it’s all pretty liberating. Use the time to discover your true self, try out new things and just enjoy your own company.
10. Time management is everything! – If it’s anything that I’ve learned to do with the passing of time it’s to plan and manage my time wisely. Know your limits and try to not spread yourself too thin; prioritize your time and tasks.
11. Befriend older people – I know how much this contradicts the things your mother may have said to you when you were younger but I’ve learned that befriending people out of your age bracket can actually be a good thing. There’s so much you can learn from your older friends and so much more that you can experience while in their midst.
12. Don’t sweat the small stuff – Learn to differentiate between the things that deserves your precious time and energy. If it won’t matter in 5 years, then it shouldn’t matter as much now.
13. Choose your battles wisely – One of the questions I found myself asking often was “will this matter tomorrow? Will it even matter in 5 years?”. This lesson goes hand in hand with #12, Not everything deserves your energy so choose your battles wisely. Not every battle is yours to fight.
14.It’s okay to feel – After going through a phase of faking it till i make it, I realized that it’s completely okay to be sad some days. It’s okay to cry, scream and sleep it away but whatever you do just get up, wipe your tears, shake it off and let it go. Don’t let society force you into thinking that you are weak because you show emotions.
15. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you – My oh My! This has got to be one of the toughest ones that I’ve had to learn. Learn when to walk away and just charge it to the game sometimes. Don’t have your feelings causing you to act crazy/reckless and do things that you’d usually pass up on or react to things that you’d usually ignore.
16.Never stop learning – You can never say you know it all. Don’t stop learning, reading, researching and tapping into new knowledge.
17. Know when it’s time to unplug and recharge – A healthy state of mind trumps everything – You cannot help anyone if you’re falling apart, therefore it is important that you strive to maintain a healthy state of mind. It’s important to pull away and gather your thoughts every now and then.
18. The only meaning your life has is the purpose you give yourself – Know your purpose and walk in it, until then everything you do will be pretty much pointless.
19. Stay out the mix, that’s how you lose your flavor – Netflix and wine on a Friday or Saturday night is always a good option. Feel no way if you’re not out in the mix at every party.
20. Self love is the best love – I’ve grown to love myself ten times more than I ever did. You deserve the love you give so freely to everyone else, so why not start by loving yourself. After all, you set the standard for how people treat you.
21. You’re human, it’s okay to feel – Far too often I found myself repeating those words. It is completely okay not to be okay. Scream, cry and get upset but make sure when you do you wipe them tears, dust yourself off and come back better than before.
22. Face your fears – develop the habit of facing your fears and stepping out of your comfort zone. This is one of the best ways to ensure that you are truly walking in your purpose. Oh the things you will discover and the things you will realize that you enjoy. Sometimes all of this involves taking risks, take them! SN: Selfish Twenties had everything to do with me stepping out of my comfort zone.
23. Don’t be too hard on yourself – Sometimes you may not meet the goals you set and things don’t always go as planned, but that’s okay. The idea is to go back to the drawing board and make your approach stronger than before. Trust me, this is hard because I’m known to shut down and beat myself up when things don’t go right but like the great saying goes “Man plans and God laughs”. Just breathe.
24. You cannot pour from an empty cup – This one is simple, be as selfish as you need to be when it comes to your own well being. Take care of yourself first, everyone will understand.