Sometimes life hits hard and the blows are heavy. Majority of the time we just move along without truly acknowledging it, because after all that’s what is expected of us right?
Growing up in black families, more so with a Caribbean mother it is not the norm to show a sign of vulnerability. We are often told or expected to suck it up and look at the bright side, barely acknowledging the possible damage to our psyche. God forbid we are actually sad or choose to share our most inner feelings, we will most likely be told that we are over reacting or the infamous “pray about it and keep on keeping on”.
There are healthy and unhealthy ways of coping with the blows of life. Personally, I’ve engaged in a few unhealthy ones while I did know better at the time, however I pride myself on sticking to more healthier ways of coping as of late. So let’s chat!
Healthy ways to relax, relate and release include but are surely not limited to:
- Disconnect: Take a day off from everything to yourself. Disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with yourself. Go see a movie, take a swim, do yoga or whatever relaxes you. Our dimensions of health work synonymously and our emotional wellness often affects our social wellness, which is the ability to relate to and connect with other people in our world. Our ability to establish and maintain healthy relationships are dependent on a healthy social wellness. Therefore, it is imperative to keep these two in check.
- Keep a diary/journal: Trust ME, writing is one of the healthiest ways to release your inner thoughts and feelings that you may not feel comfortable expressing to someone else. Establish a mood tracker if you must and document your highs and lows of the day. This way you will find it easier to rule out the things that affect you emotionally or discover what is causing you to feel that way.
- Confide in a trusted friend/family member: Don’t get caught up in the “Trust no one” hype. There has to be someone who has consistently looked out for your best interest and you know exactly who that person is, don’t downplay it. Reach out to them.
- Seek professional help: Having a safe place where you can engage in open dialogue about your feelings is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of regardless of how society perceives it to be. You’re absolutely not weak for needing help, nor does that make you crazy. There is no such thing! If anything you are courageous for even making that brave step.
Nowww for the unhealthy ways, which I’m pretty sure we all are familiar with:
- Venting on social media: Hmmmmygod! this is something we all do well and when i say well, i mean REALLY well. This includes posting subliminal posts, memes and all that jazz that’s clearly directed to whomever mashed your toes. Come on though, do you ever feel better after doing all this? it’s pretty tiring actually. YOU WILL REGRET IT! You don’t want people to assume your life is an open show for all to see. 9/10 our Facebook friends are people that we hardly know on that level and you don’t want to find yourself unraveling to them. This leaves room to assume that your business is an free for all conversation to stir up small talk.
- Binge drinking: Kanye said it best “what’s worst, the pain or the hangover?”. Shall I continue? The only people that will feel the repercussions of this is you. If you are to drink, do so moderately and engage in safe behavior.
- Keeping it all bottled in: You know what happens when you shake up a champagne bottle right!? No one is safe when that cork pops! At some point you will become overwhelmed and like that bottle pops, so will you and any and everybody is liable to receive the blows from your outburst. If you’re feeling bothered, talk to the right person and try to avoid spazzing on the people closest to you.
On the real side of things, you don’t have to be bitter nor do you have to pretend to be strong. Save the drama of hurting people because you are hurt and take the necessary steps to improve your dimensions of health. At the end of the day, the only person who will suffer is you. Find your lane and cruise there. Take the situations life throw at you and turn them into lessons. Grow, glow & use your testimonies to inspire!
Be well, xo Curls n’ Curves